(All of these poems have been written Daniel Von der Embse)
Sitting in the dark
of the house I keep
to remind me of you
I wait for your return
to put the life back
into these walls
Your hair never to remove
from the sink
or your scent to vanish
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everything suspended
as when you were here
On our table the linens
brought back from Italy
soften the hardness
of the miles traveled
before we rested here
the door kept ever unlocked
not to delay you
from rushing back to me
Knowing you will enter
without a knock
I listen for the creak
of the door
pitched exactly
as when you were here
nothing changed
but the counting of years
since you went away.
Lost and found
What if we just stopped now
got off here and departed
in opposite directions
with no last look back
shuffling on
to whatever comes next
never again to lie
with our legs entwined
our faces close enough
to feel the pounding of hearts
the hotness of breath
lost without each other
What if we just stopped now
and started again
put on our shoes
and went for a walk
where no one knows us
familiar feelings fade
leaving us holding on
with nothing else to do
but drink till we are half full
daring to take one last sip
before it is all drunk
and we forget
how we got here.
Disruption
The past visits as a nightmare
replaying the sickness I gave you
that infects us both now
throughout cold nights spent
recounting our regrets
until waking in the morning
to open our eyes to the present
Fading into day
the images get shuffled to the bottom
to be dug up again like cold hard earth
heaped upon the bed for another night
In the dark I see you next to me
and read upon your face
how the constant retelling
has changed the way you sleep
You barely move
but for your quaking shoulders
that betray the disruption
beneath your skin.
Betrayal
We lie in bed and wonder
will it ever be safe
to dream again
and what would we dream of
when there is nothing left
to hold us together
only false memories
shot full of holes
with no thread of hope
that we might wake up
anywhere but here
The secrets I spilled
upon our bed
soak deep into our skin
leaving a stain that will
last into old age
a permanent mark
never to be erased.
Escape from the rational world
Stuck out here in the desert
sun slips from sight
life grows cold again
Think about starting a fire
but too tired to gather sticks
Retreat to a comforting log
Light falls away
casting the world
in a darkness as black
as my soul
Sleep catches hold
the incessant night chorus
drowning out
my ringing thoughts
nothing to do but dream
of my escape
from the rational world
to memories imagined
but not made
How I wish this sleep
would never end.
Upon ancient tiles
Walk with me along the rooftops
upon ancient tiles crumbling beneath us
as fragile as we are
We return to this place each year to witness
the gradual decay
and to carry home the antique mess
now turned to dust in our pockets
an unintended souvenir of the life we share.
A room we keep
For each thing lost
another is gained
Every lie yields a truth
placed in a jar of tears
kept in a quiet corner
of a room never seen
Pack everything here
Each resentment served
Every last moan of regret
Place them in this room
at the top of a stairs
too steep to climb
This is where
we keep everything
that can’t be taken back
the remorseful acts
the words denied
everything that we lost
in the betrayal of love
kept in plain sight
of no one.
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